


Yeah, No Thanks

by fringeperson



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Asexuality Spectrum, Don't copy to another site, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27626267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fringeperson/pseuds/fringeperson
Summary: Just a conversation between Loki and Darcy. About sex.~Originally posted in '17
Kudos: 31





	Yeah, No Thanks

“I don't understand the appeal of sex,” Darcy said, clear out of the blue. Or maybe not. She and Loki were taking refuge in the common area of Avenger's Tower, three floors down from where Jane and Thor were having their reunion. Loudly. Occasionally, even so far away and with several layers of soundproofing between, a pleasured scream could be heard.

“What?” Loki questioned, surprised. It was the first she'd spoken in his presence since they'd left his brother and her boss alone.

“I don't understand the appeal of sex,” she repeated.

“Then clearly you have had partners who did not know what they were doing,” he said with a hint of a smirk.

Well, according to the myths/legends/whatever, Loki had five children off two wives, and another off a horse that had raped _him_. So Loki probably knew what he was talking about.

“Virgin,” Darcy countered with an unconcerned wave. “I've had no partners at all. And I don't want any. Because I really do not understand the appeal of sex.”

“An attractive person -” Loki began.

“Yes, yes,” she cut him off. “I understand _sex appeal_. Person is attractive and you want to touch, and if you're very lucky then you can. I understand _sex sells_. Person is attractive and you want to emulate, therefore buy the product associated. I understand the desire to be sexy. People want to be wanted. But no matter how much people claim they enjoy the sex act, I just do not understand the appeal of it!” she ranted. Quietly, because she had _no_ desire to attract the attention of anybody else who might be in the Tower. Especially considering the topic.

“Alright,” Loki allowed cautiously. “What is it that you find _un_ appealing about the sex act?”

“The naked,” Darcy answered, quick as a whip. “I can handle shirtless. I can handle shoeless. I cannot, however, handle _short_ -less. The pelvic region is only ever attractive when properly covered.”

Loki chuckled. “You don't have to look to feel,” he suggested.

“Yeah, that's another thing,” Darcy answered, nose scrunched up in distaste. “Sweaty clinging? No thanks. Especially not there. I don't want to feel that. As far as I'm concerned, the only business any hands have being down there is to deal with hygiene matters, and that is the only reason _anything_ should be down there.”

“You would see your own race extinct,” Loki said with a chuckle.

Darcy shook her head, thought about that a moment, then shrugged. “It's not like it would hurt anything for there to be less people on the planet. Over-population is a serious problem. Then again, it's hard-wired into the human psyche to make war just as much as it is to make babies, so maybe it all evens out somewhere. I still don't understand the appeal of sex. Not any more than I understand the appeal of war, in all honesty.”

“And you don't want to,” Loki realised, amused.

Darcy shook her head.

“Nope,” she agreed. “I really don't. Kissing, okay, cuddling, sure, absolutely. Even a little friendly groping might be okay-ish, depending on who's doing the groping, and which part of the body is being groped. But sex? No. Just no.”


End file.
